Design Bitch

So I guess there haven’t been enough Crocs-related accidents to justify shutting them down. Only 77 escalator entrapment incidents reported in the US and 65 in Japan. A three year old girl got “severely and permanently” injured when her tiny pink Crocs clog got caught in a JFK escalator maiming her toe. Undoubtedly, there are a lot more cases that never made the news, yet millions of Crocs continue to be sold and exported. But instead of banning these hazardous sandals, they give us escalator safety tips. How many more little mangled feet will it take to take Crocs off of the market? Don’t get Croc Attacked, get even!

You’ve heard me bash Crocs on more than one occasion, so you know my stance on the subject… nuff said.

Crocs have come a long way since they launched their original rubber Crocs clogs. They have expanded into Crocs ballet flats, Crocs slip-ons, Crocs flip-flops, Crocs wedges, Crocs mary janes, Crocs boots and they have finally outdone themselves with high heel sandals. Oh, and of course the unforgettable Crocs Mammoth. Don’t look at me, I’m not the one who buys them. I can barely keep up with their latest styles, colors and clever titles. Thank their fans in Santa Cruz, who already have a pair named after them – Crocs Santa Cruz Sandals.

Crocs Sassari Sandal

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What in the world is happening to shoe design? Can you even call these mutants shoes? I promised myself that I was done bitching about Crocs and UGGs, but when I saw these I was speechless. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because I could have never dreamt up a marriage more bizarre and unpalatable. Mammoth Crocs? As if the originals weren’t creepy enough. I swear, every time I see them I think of Jason’s mask from Friday the 13th. Clearly, I am not alone. There’s an entire site aimed at getting rid of Crocs: I Hate Crocs dot com.

What are your thoughts on the CROCS ‘Mammoth’ Clog?